CCPA

by Marlene Talasnik, Simplified Living, LLC

For those of you who weren’t able to attend this Non-CCPA event, here is a front row seat to a panel discussion with four local experts who want to help demystify the financial and emotional aspects of divorce.

The Panel Members:
William H. Donahue, Jr., Esq., APM – Donahue founded Transitions Mediation Center in 1995 to address the growing need for mediation as an alternative to expensive and emotionally draining litigation.  Through Transitions, he mediates a wide range of family disputes, including divorce.  He specializes in the mediation of high conflict cases and cases involving children.
Pam Rosser Thistle – Thistle is a full-time Philadelphia Realtor dedicated to helping buyers and sellers achieve realistic goals.  She currently is currently working with many first-time homebuyers, set to receive their $8,000 tax credit.  She has been with Prudential Fox & Roach since October, 2007.
Mark Lenard – Lenard is a Home Loan Consultant at Countrywide Home Loans.  He has been in the Mortgage financing business for fifteen years, the last two at Countrywide Home Loans.  He works with homeowners and realtors.  His philosophy is to make the process easy and “transparent”… meaning one where there are no surprises at the settlement table.
Dana F. Goode, Psy.D – Dr. Goode is a graduate of the Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology at Widener University.  She is in private practice in Center City Philadelphia.  She specializes in working with families adjusting to divorce and helping parents develop co-parenting skills.  Dr. Goode has worked with divorcing parents and families for ten years.

Why Divorce Mediation
Did you know that almost half of all first marriages and more than half of all second marriages will end in divorce?
The American divorce litigation system ruins lives, bankrupts families and scars children for life.  Millions of people have put up with this antiquated system because of a belief that only divorce lawyers can protect your “rights”.
There is a cost-effective, civilized alternative for couples seeking divorce.  It represents either spouse.  It is called mediation.  With the use of a mediator, couples can understand their legal rights and responsibilities, and then work with them as they create a settlement that will meet their financial and emotional needs far into the future.
While the immediate goal is to get divorced, the long-term goal of mediation is to achieve what mediators call a “good divorce”.  To tell if a divorce is good, you need to look at all the family members several years after the divorce.  They should all be thriving, which means the parents have obtained financial and emotional stability and have developed new relationship, and children have reached their expected development stages.
Mediation is not just for spouses who are friendly or even on speaking terms.  On the contrary, angry, bitter and out for blood couples will benefit most from its use.  Without it, they will most likely tear each other apart in court and have thousands or even tens of thousand of dollars in legal, court and expert fees to show for it!  If it doesn’t work, couples can always litigate!
Mediation can be used at any point in the divorce process.  Donahue believes that earlier the better (i.e., when one decides they want to divorce and especially when one of the parties doesn’t want the divorce)!  But, he also sees the benefits thereof when the parties have been battling in court for months or even years.  By calling a truce during this period, mediators can open up a dialogue that encourages the parties to separate their immediate emotions and demands from real long term interests and needs.

Figures
Couples earning less than $100,000 per year are more likely to use mediation.
Cost/Time Involved in the Process: The average cost for mediation is $35,000.  (A traditional divorce usually costs three to four times as much.)  The average mediator makes $300/per hour.  But costs can run as high as $600/per hour.
The process usually consists of six one hour sessions…but they can run as high as ten one hour sessions.  Sessions do not have to run consecutively.

The Process
Once the parties have worked out their differences in mediation, they will take the agreement to their respective attorneys who will examine its terms.  If there are no contractual issues, the attorneys will present the agreement to the court who will issue a decree of divorce.

Mediator Qualifications
Mediators come from all walks of life!  In Pennsylvania and New Jersey, the pre-requisite to receipt of an APM accreditation is completion of a forty hour divorce mediation course; a practicum under an established mediator and four – five years of work experience.

Other Considerations in the Divorce Process

• Marital property is usually the single most discussed topic in divorce.  Options traditionally have been one party buys the other out or the property is sold and the proceeds split amongst the parties.  The economy has made for some interesting alternatives.  Realtors are seeing more rentals in lieu of out right sales.  In this situation, appraisals are becoming the single most problematic area for divorcing couples.  Their conservativeness is at odds with the housing boom valuations.
• Mortgage guidelines have reverted back to the thirty year fixed conventional or FHA mortgage.  Interest rates are presently at 4.78% with no points.  The purpose of the loan is essential to its rate.  Another crucial factor is credit scores. Hurdles due to divorce are seen mostly in the area of alimony and child support.  There are no longer any side agreements; it must be part of the agreement of sale.   To qualify, the mortgage company requires the recipient must be receiving alimony (or child support) for a period of three years and the starting period begins after the first years has elapsed.  HUD has added an additional guideline designed to circumvent the one year requirement. Under its guidelines, there can be no escrowing of funds to meet the one year alimony and/or child support rule.

Psychological Reactions to Divorce

• Dependent Spouse: A dependent spouses’ focus is financial survival.
• Initiating Spouse: An initiating spouse suffers most from guilt, especially when children are involved.  The focus is what their interactions will look like post-divorce.

Children
Psychologists see lots of behavioral changes due to the separation/divorce.  It is the spouses’ job when working out custodial arrangements to put aside “fairness” and do what is best for the child!

This entry was posted on Monday, April 27th, 2009 at 10:45 am and is filed under How to, More about. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.